I am the president, secretary and treasurer of my own Parentally Fatigued Club – the other member and Vice President is my husband and father of my 2 children. This club is for members of the public who feel like the parenting gig is just so looonnnggg. Our youngest girl is a few months shy of finishing Year 12 and turning 18 which means legally our jobs are almost done!
When I commenced this unpaid job called parenting in 1996 I was so unprepared. I had a hard time coping physically and mentally. Pressured to breastfeed, I hated it. It might be controversial as I hear women saying how wonderful they found the experience but I didn’t like feeding in public yet didn’t want to miss out on anything happening if I went into another room. The second one was a lot easier helped by having a placid baby but it was still hard work. The never endingness of being a mum loomed large like a black hole with no light to guide me home.
New members are welcome to my Parentally Fatigued Club if you have ever participated in the following:
- Calisthenics Concerts for 4/5 year olds with 5 performances of the Golden Girls (senior citizens) – one of the worst experiences ever
- Swimming lessons in an overheated, over chlorinated pool being a hazard to your health
- Waiting in uncomfortable, plastic, beige hospital chairs for hours
- Sick children on planes or changing dirty nappies on a plane. Actually kids under 4 on a plane doing anything
- School concerts that go on for hours without alcoholic beverages
- Vomit soaked sheets – not good for me as I’m a sympathetic chucker
- Teaching kids to drive
- Boyfriend/girlfriend break ups……and the list goes on 🙂
If I had not been a member of this club I would have missed out on some classic moments that live on in folklore:
- Ian being asked after Year 6 Sex Ed classes how long does an erection last and that’s assuming you still have them?
- An 8 year old explaining to Ian what a necrophiliac was
- Being told I had a big fat tummy in the shower
- Coping with tears that people were smoking on Broadway in New York not treating it as hallowed ground
- On Ian’s shoulders a child using his ears to steer
- Being asked if God was everywhere why were we driving over him on the road
- Seeing the sign on the carport “Do not grease guides” the comment was “well what about Scouts then?”
- The rolls on a baby’s legs that look like the Michelin Man……and we could go on there as well
Yes I will always worry about my daughters and yes I will always feel responsible for them and want to help them in any way I can. However, it’s almost time to cut the apron strings and watch the younger one start to traverse the world as an adult. I’m really proud of both of them. The older one is very independent and sometimes I feel obsolete in her life. She’s just about to spend a month in Edinburgh (that’s the Scotland one, not the one down Yorke Peninsula) as an intern for international theatre company Baby Wants Candy. This young lady is a bit directionally challenged so I will be stressing the whole time that she’s in the spot where she’s supposed to be.
This post all came from my shopping trolley today where I had the twinge of guilt that there was a lot of processed crap in there. I had such good intentions but the fatigueness crept over me. But hey, first world problem 🙂
What are some of the crap things you have done for the sake of your kids? Or some of the great things that have come from kids?